Baby & Me ALONE

When you have a stroke, or at least in my situation, and my husband out of town, it magnifies my deficits. I've come to accept my stroke and determined not let it get the best of me (you know, fake it till you make it even if you never do), but raising a baby/toddler by yourself is HARD! It doesn't matter if its a day or days by yourself, it's tough. Being tired because of your stroke then being tired because you're a mom is difficult, put those two together and man oh man! People try to understand, to help, but they just don't get it. Your caretaker might understand more than others. Just because you look "normal" (whatever that means!) doesn't mean you're "normal." Some injuries are NOT on the outside; some are on the inside. Check out Traumatic Brain Injuries (TBI).

Anyways, I struggle when I'm by myself. I don't like making a meal from scratch. Pinterest 10 minute prep meals aren't 10 minutes for me, its more like 30 - 45 minutes. I dread bath days. Getting my little one in a bath or a shower, even with my shower chair right there seems near impossible. My anxiety skyrockets because all of these what-if scenarios are going through my brain! What if I fall, what if I can lift him in the tub but not out, what if he squirms out of my arms and falls while I'm holding him. I do it though; I'm a mom. I survived my stroke.

Real quick, I am changing gears to my therapy. My therapists, primarily physical therapists, have helped me so much! I share my difficulties with them, and they focus my rehabilitation on improving those deficits. Maybe I'm lucky but setting my pride aside (at least what's left of it) and communicating my challenges has been very beneficial.

I hope you know these are not complaints. I would not have it any other way. Stroke or no stroke, raising a babes can be challenging. In my case, it magnifies my deficits. These are just MY struggles, and if anyone else has them, I want them to know, they're not alone.